Sure there are times when I need something and have to take that seemingly dreaded trip to Wal-Mart. NPR called Wal-Mart the death of small town America. I guess I don’t have to go to Wal-Mart but hell they have everything, the prices are decent or at least somewhat cheaper than what you would find at other stores. It’s pretty much one stop shopping. Don’t get me wrong I don’t go there to shop, I know what I want, I get it and I’m in and out in short order. That is if more that two of the 50 registers are open. Have you ever seen at least half of the registers in a Wal-Mart open at the same time? Any Wal-Mart, ever? You have a better chance of seeing a UFO. Sometimes I park and check out in the auto department sometimes just to curb the wait time. I was thinking the other day, what ever happened to those benches they used to have throughout the store for old men to camp out on? I guess Wal-Mart figured out old men have money and that bench isn’t going to spend it. That and they needed the space for the $3.99 DVD bargain bin.
Now I find most times I’m not really dressed to go there. I feel so out of place. It seems pajama bottoms or sweat pants are the dress code of choice and all the rage. The only place you’ll see more pajama bottoms is in front of a Netflix vending machine at the convenience store. This with a nice worn-out dirty sweatshirt or hoodie that doesn’t even come close to matching seems to be the required attire. Don’t forget the curlers ladies, and don’t you dare to remove them before going. The pink ones are my favorite. No shoes no problem. Who cares if your feet are hanging off the back of flip flops that are two sizes too small for your feet? I consider this type of dress to be kind of like the “emergency trip to the store” throw on anything clothes? Well there must be a lot of emergencies going on because that’s the norm. Now not all the folks dress up this nicely some come a bit more casual. I had a friend who used to say “just because they make it in your size doesn’t mean you’re supposed to wear it”. I guess if they’re covered they’re happy.
Of course no trip to Wal-Mart would be complete if you didn’t run into Grandma who took every kid and Grandchild she can find with her and then turned them loose like a bunch of banshees. Don’t kids go to school during the day anymore? Of course she has to take them as they seem to be calling most of the shots during the visit anyway. I can’t remember the last time I walked down the toy aisle, that’s scary stuff right there boy! What a mess! Although there usually is a good fight going on between some child and an adult.
Then there are the riding buggy people, the group of folks who have never actually walked through a Wal-Mart. They ride in electric cart comfort. Not long ago I saw two women riding in the little carts side by side down an aisle, shopping, riding, talking and looking. Two rather large ladies, like twin sisters. Consider that aisle closed. I’m sympathetic to any cause but I find that if these carts were designed for the handicapped or injured, every handicapped or injured person who goes to Wal-Mart is overweight. And I know Wal-Mart is sympathetic to the handicapped because how many handicapped parking spaces do you think there are in front of the average store? I’ve tried to count them all, it’s not easy but it’s somewhere between 24 and 30+. Know what else? They’re always filled. As soon as one opens it almost immediately gets filled. It’s one of my pet peeves and it kills me where seemingly fit people park in them and then strut into the store like nobodies business. What’s he rush though, none of the registers are open.
Good luck in there!