You better put on a seatbelt, sit up straight, turn off the radio, say a prayer and hang on. It could be a bumpy ride. Everyday twice a day I pass through this tourist trap called “South Of The Border”. It’s a Mexican themed stop that’s supposedly halfway between New York City and Miami. Who knows? Anyway it’s filled with brightly painted stores that all carry the same thing as the next, a couple of gas stations, several restaurants, some kiddie attractions and two motels. Although I don’t think they get enough traffic anymore to open both motels at the same time. Going through the complex can be a real adventure needless to say and early Saturday mornings as all the vacationers are getting ready to hit the road is a free for all. Let me add its two lanes of traffic going each way through the place. The first challenge is the vehicles that are getting off the interstate. Coming down the exit ramp they find a yield sign at the bottom, which really means “you need not bother stopping”. They take a right turn in front of you and at that point and you have no idea where there going, nor do they. And don’t count on them staying in the lane they initially chose as that could change at any time, turn signals are forbidden at SOB. Pick a lane, any lane. These skilled drivers can take a right from the left lane and just as easily turn left from the right hand lane. If they would just stay in their lanes I would do the rest, but that can’t be guaranteed. Did I mention that turn signals are forbidden at SOB? The next challenge are the cars that have turned in somewhere, finished their business and are now looking to move on to a different part of the complex. Crossing four lanes of traffic and a median strip is mere child’s play for these folks. Why look for traffic just go. I especially like the one’s who begin crossing then change their minds and turn into a lane to go further down the line. Some take their half of the road out of the middle. Its dodge cars at it’s finest. Cars aside, lined up along one side of the road through the whole complex are these Mexican themed statues of people and animals all colorfully painted. Well every tourist that’s anybody has to take pictures of his loved ones on, near or by these statues. If I had a nickel for every picture I’ve seen taken I’d have enough for lunch one day a week. Anyway as I said they line the road all along one side. Now where do you think the picture taker stands when he’s taking pictures? That’s right, on or right next to the roadway, not the shoulder. No! Where else? Now I’ve got to dodge the maze of cars moving in front of me and be careful not to run over mister tourist trying to take a picture of little Johnny standing next to a purple gorilla. Oh and did I mention I go through at 60 mph. It’s quite a rush!