New American Idol….

That’s right, get your butt out there and sing for me!

Reality television has almost totally taken over the airwaves and truth be known I don’t watch much of it on the network channels.  I eat up the cable channels looking in storage units, in people’s old buildings, messy houses, Bigfoot, pawnshops and the like.   Back on the network channels everyone I know talks about American Idol like it’s God’s gift to the television viewership.  Hasn’t it played out yet?  It’s been on forever.  Do you have to sing on the show?  Could you tell jokes, do magic, or dance and be the American Idol?  Admittedly I have not watched but a few nights of American Idol and those were the episodes when the first nighters come on to audition thinking they have a chance.  A chance in hell for most of them.  Wow!  Didn’t someone tell them “you stink”!  “Your going to embarrass yourself going on that show.”  Really!  That said this is what we should do.  Put a twist on the show.  Let’s line up, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Paula Abdul, Justin Beiber, Christine Aguilera, Britney Spears and few other Johnny come lately’s as contestants.  Then we get good old Simon Cowell and a couple of average hard working non head swollen Americans as a judging panel and shrink their heads.  Holy crap can you imagine one of them singing a song and then being criticized by Simon and crew.  In that accent of his he’d say, “I’m sorry honey you just didn’t hit the notes they way they are written.”  You’d see the horror of them peeing their pants and having to walk out before their peers, and conversely on the other side of the coin, the relief of not being called to go.  That I would watch.  The only problem with this idea is that none of the contestants would have the guts to do it, and I don’t think Paula has enough songs in her bag to get her through an 11 week season.  After all how many times could she get away with singing Straight Up?  Sorry Simon.

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