Monthly Archives: February 2014

Snow Day Aftermath….

Snow Day!Why is it whenever snow is in the forecast for the south, people immediately empty out the grocery stores?  It’s a run on them.  “Better stock up on bread and milk” is the mantra.  Are they making milk sandwiches?  Pots of soups and chili suddenly spring from nowhere.  Mugs of hot chocolate, coffee or whatever brew themselves automatically.  It’s the law.  I guess snow brings on hunger.  Go figure.  The Weather Channel even broadcasts the grocery stores shelf inventories.  The Weather Channel does this?!?

Watching the Weather Channel on occasion cracks me up.  Regardless of the weather that’s brewing, snow, hurricane, heat or whatever they always do their best to make it worse than what it probably is.  Right now it’s crippling ice that’s coming.  Crippling I tell you!  This is the worst ice storm since, well ever.  This is it!  Storm Pax?  Since when did they start naming winter storms and what is a Pax?  After a few minutes of listening you would think it’s going to come right in the house and drag you out by your heels.  They show “LIVE” shots of roads with no cars, or some cars, but no matter what it’s treacherous going and how wise you are to not be out in it, like they are.  What troopers. They show before shots of roads with lots of cars on them and after shots with none.  Hello, this is a traffic report!  Last storm how many pictures of the Atlanta traffic jam did you see on The “WEATHER” Channel?  If the Weather Channel broadcast only weather reports it would not be a 24 hour channel.  However the one thing I have learned from the Weather Channel is that if you see Jim Cantori in your neighborhood, you’re in for some heavy crap!

Snow cream?  Who thought of this?  I lived in Northern Michigan for 18 years and not one time did it ever occur to me, my friends, family or anyone to make snow cream.  The only time you ever ate snow was when someone washed your face with the stuff or you caught a snowball in the kisser.  That’s about it.  We were told by teachers and parents alike, not that we listened, not to eat the filthy stuff.  It picks up all sorts of pollution and crap floating in the atmosphere on it’s track down to earth.  I looked on-line and no one recommends eating it.  I did see Jethro on the Beverly Hillbillies Show making and eating it one time.  Snow cream?  Jethro Bodine?  I guess that seems about right.

If a good packing snow falls, about 50 snowmen will miraculously appear all around town. Usually it’s a leaf filled snowman because there is seldom enough snow to cover the ground and rolling snowball without a few leaves in it is near impossible.  I have seen a few snowmen that the builders worked overtime on as the size of the man far outweighed the snow on the ground.  Way to go!

When I was a kid a snow day was a day dedicated to being outside playing in it.  The more that fell, the better.  The nastier the storm the more fun it was. Trying to find deep drifts.  Outdoor places to shelter from it.  New higher snow banks in which to fight over (king of the mountain), sled down and tunnel through was the order of the day.  I shudder when I think back about some of the tunnels I crawled through that I shouldn’t have.  When I was out today scouting about I think I saw only about 4-5 kids just walking around looking.

I remember when snow season came you had to put snow tires on your car?  Do you?  No you don’t.

Ok let get down to brass tacks here.  Face it, the only reason most folks get so excited about snow and gloom and doom is “They don’t have to go to work”!!!  Right?

Field of Dreams….

"The Big House"
“The Big House”

My neighbor is one of those guys who cuts his lawn every Sunday morning like a good heathen should.  Hey I live in the south and anything outside of making a green bean casserole categorizes you as a heathen if you do it on Sunday.  Anyway this dude is the type that cuts it in different patterns, against the grain in different directions in order to make it look like a playing field.  Sad part is, he’s pretty good at it, he has an in ground sprinkler system and it pisses me off.  Football fields across the land exhibit some of the most remarkable designs, not grass cutting so to speak, but the logos, the school colors and the general designs are what  fascinate me.  I love to look at a manicured football fields when not in use, their beautiful.  Something majestic about them.  Something solemn as well when no one is around.  Michigan’s field is beautiful, not because I’m a fan, but look at the beauty of the colors, so vibrant.  The maize block “M” at midfield and the word Michigan adorning each end zone, laying on top of a bright green turf.  Tennessee has the checkerboards in each end zone.  Pretty unique really.  BoiseState has the blue rug.  One of a kind yes, but it gives me the feeling of impending bad weather.  Lots of universities choose to have the schools name in one end zone and the team name in the other.  No problem with that.  Remember tartan turf.  Nothing more than a rubber mat.  How many knees did that crap screw up?  I will say that sometimes less is more and simplicity can sometimes speak volumes.  With that said I throw up in my mouth a little bit every time I think about this, but I like the end zones at Notre Dame.  The angled lines go back to a time when the game was played without facemasks.  That’s throw back right there.  And like my neighbor’s lawn, playing fields are to be admired from afar, not walked on.  At least until the first of September.

Throwing Away Good Money….

Something about this doesn't seem right!
Something about this doesn’t seem right!

I see this more and more in resturants, dollar bills stapled to the walls?!?  Why?  Must be hundreds of them.  Why would an owner allow this and how did it ever get started?  Every single one of them with some name or drawing, a saying and alot of them brightly colored.  Old George Washington surely gets a make over on almost every one of them.  Someone once told me there was a resturant in Myrtle Beach that they figured had over $30,000 stapled to the walls.  I know one had a sign to stop asking to staple money to the walls as they were out of room.  Seems like kind of a waste when that money could go for something useful in the community.  Put a charity bucket at the door and you won’t collect anywhere close to 30 grand.  The folks who think nothing of stapling these bills, or giving them to their kids to have stapled to the walls would be the same ones who would pass by the Salvation Army bucket without a thought, or dropping anything in either.  Even if you pulled these bills from the walls I doubt they would be much good what with all the crap written on them.  Believe it or not, way back when I thought it was a crime to deface paper money.  Well I think it’s a stupid waste, don’t be looking for one with my initials and date on it.2013-08-16_12-07-57_227